Sometimes it’s hard to find a hobby to really sink our teeth into, to become entirely engrossed. In this episode, a take a long form approach to answering a question I found on Reddit, although it’s a question that pops up time and time again.

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Links:

1. Original Reddit Question
2. Ham Radio Episode
3. Letterlocking YouTube Channel
4. Geocaching Website
5. Geocaching Episode
6. Dungeon’s And Dragons Links.
   1. Player’s Handbook on Amazon
   2. D&D 5E Basic Rules Download (comes with character sheet)
   3. Publisher’s Website (Wizards of the Coast)
   4. Critical Role on YouTube
      1. CR’s Vin Diesel video: (on Geek and Sundry, same folks, different channel)
      2. CR’s Vin Diesel video – 5 minute version

Transcript:

Welcome to What Makes You Happy, the show that explores our hobbies and pastimes and how they delight us. This is episode number #24 and today we’re going to give an answer to a troubled hobbyist from the internet.

 

Before we begin, I wanted to say I really appreciate your viewership, and I want to know how I can make it better for you. If you have a suggestion, a comment, a complaint, or even an idea for an episode, please drop me a line at dovid@ClevelandCreativeOutlet.com.

 

Today I wanted to give a response to a question I found on the internet, specifically on the r/Hobbies subreddit. The question is asked so often, and is such a deep, troubled question, that I felt it behooved me to give a “reference answer” for future cases in which someone asks something similar. I’m going to read the question mostly verbatim. User u/waking_dreams96 asks:

I want a hobby I can get lost in, but don’t know how. Every time I try a hobby it feels like work, as in, it’s not really fun and I just kind of force myself to do it for a while. I’ve always wanted a hobby where I can just get lost in it. Like, I’m so amazed and impressed when I see people with the passion and discipline to animate a whole video or create crazy lego structures or anything that takes time and dedication, but I just can’t find something I want to dedicate myself to.

 

IDK if it is because I have to slog through hours of it before I reach a point where I am dedicated, or what. I struggle with depression.

 

Past hobbies: always been into art– drawing, some painting. Lately, it’s just so blah and so much work, and I’ve been working at it so long and I’m just frustrated with my progress and think I need a break from it. I always loved reading fantasy. I was really into rock climbing for a while, but I lost interest in that too. I like the outdoors and hiking, and I do a little bit of that when I am able to.

 

I may be asking for too much here, but I am interested in hearing about maybe some less conventional hobbies that aren’t too expensive to start. Also, some tips on how to keep at a hobby until it gets fun would be great.

Here’s a person who is in a position that I think a lot of us have faced. Starting a new hobby can be very daunting, especially if the fun factor doesn’t seem to kick in until you’re already good at the hobby. And sometimes, even if you do get to that point, you’ve been doing it so long, that your experience has been mostly negative for so long and now your association is that the hobby you’ve chosen is really just work. Finally you’re good at it enough to enjoy it, and you’re bored of it, resorting instead to watching TV, or scrolling through Reddit, or even IWasteSoMuchTime.com. Compounding this issue is mental health. Let’s break this down.

 

In my opinion, and keep in mind I’m not a professional insofar as mental health is concerned, a hobby is an extension of you. When you practice a hobby, when you’re involved in it, the hobby will change you. Likewise, when you’re deeply involved in the hobby, you will change it as well. When you draw, do you only ever do things the way someone has shown you? Likely as not, you start there but then modify methods, finding newer, easier ways to do things. You find shortcuts, you improve the hobby simply by doing it. I only bring all this up to point out that if you’re not enjoying a hobby, it may be because it’s simply not the right fit for you. When you grew up, people may have labeled you an artsy kid, when in reality, you enjoyed something a lot more methodical and technical. Or maybe you’ve always been known as an engineer, mathlete, or scientist. A hobby is a good way to explore the side of you that is not what you appear to be.

 

I also want to bring up the idea that happiness and hobbies, in general are related, and often go hand in hand. Heck that’s the whole premise of this podcast! But as much as I’m a proponent of people pursuing their hobbies to make themselves happier, I’m of the belief that this is because people are happier spending more time doing things that they enjoy. But if you’re unsure about a hobby, don’t expect it to make you happy. If you’re trying to solve unhappiness with a hobby, you may be barking up the wrong tree. I don’t want to sound too harsh or coldhearted, it’s just that this is something that I’ve dealt with myself. You find yourself in a rut, you can’t find your happy place, and things that used to interest you are the opposite of what you want to be spending your time doing. There certainly are things that you can do to promote happiness, and sometimes they are a hobby. I just don’t want to say always.

 

With that in mind, there are really two problems we’re dealing with in this question, and it’s the reason I think it gets asked so often. The two problems are mental health, and an inability to find a hobby. I’m generalizing the mental health side of the question because I think this whole problem is a complex tangled mess that can apply to a lot of people. I realize you may not be depressed right now. Now in my experience, some hobbies can really help you through the bad times, help you find the light again, even give you some relief from whatever dark times you are going through. Others are kind of the opposite, in that they are enjoyable, but your own happiness is a prerequisite. I’ll give you an example: In one of my darkest times, I was having some health issues that physically and emotionally distanced me from all other people. At that time, most all I wanted to do was watch TV, because that’s all I felt I could do. My health prevented me from riding my bike, lifting weights, or anything else physical. You’d think, videogames are the perfect fit for this scenario! Actually no. Video games may have been an escape, but they were the last thing I wanted to do. I can’t explain it. Video games in this instance just frustrated me, I didn’t want to play them at all. What did lift me up however, was D&D. Something about playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends on a weekly basis really helped me through the rough times. I suspect it’s a triple whammy between the social aspect, the creative outlet I got from creating adventures for my friends, and being the Dungeon Master, the one running the game, rather than a player that really did the trick. Whatever the reason, when it was even suggested that maybe I take a week off because of my health, I insisted I play. It was mentally that important.

 

It’s important that you enjoy your hobby. Joy is after all, the reason we spend our free hours on our hobbies. But what about those early hours, when you’re just learning the ins and outs of the hobby? What if it is, as you say, a slog? The solution, I think, is to try to enjoy the learning parts as well. With the right hobby, learning can be half the fun. If you can’t enjoy it, then something else is wrong. Either this isn’t the hobby for you, or equally as likely, you’re not in the right mental state. I know! You’re shouting at me, enough preamble, get on with the suggestions! I’m going to, I promise, just a couple other points and then we’ll get on to practical advice.

 

Remember that for most hobbies, we are amateurs, not professionals. By amateur I mean not only “unpaid” but also the derivation of the word amateur. Amateur, noun, “One who engages in a pursuit, study, science, or sport as a pastime rather than as a profession.” From the Latin “amatore,” which means lover. As in, “one who does something because they love it, rather than for money.” With that in mind, don’t stress too much about being good at your hobby. Sure, it’s fun to be good at your chosen pursuit, but if it’s photography, maybe you just like taking pictures, even if they don’t come out amazing. It’s a process, not a destination.

 

Now, you expressed a desire in finding a hobby you can get lost in. I can only assume you mean you want to become so engrossed in a hobby that it fills your thoughts, that you think about it while you are at work, that you want to talk about it with all your friends, that you spend every waking hour on it, that you have found all the best subreddits dedicated to it, that you are constantly pushing the limits, trying to become better at that hobby. If that’s the kind of obsession you crave, boy do I have some ideas for you.

 

I’ll probably do an episode just on this topic alone, but my ideas on this idea come down to constant, consistent involvement. Try to spend some time on your hobby every day, even if it’s only 15 or 20 minutes. Take it upon yourself to continually learn new things about your chosen hobby. Even when you can’t practice the hobby, try to consume some media related to it. Find all the best YouTube Channels, Instagram accounts and subreddits related to it. Watch videos and read blog posts every day about it. The more time you dedicate your precious brain space to absorbing knowledge in whatever hobby you choose, the more obsessed you will become. Research answers to the questions you have about the hobby. Postulate theories about how things work, or how someone else achieved an effect you see. Test your theories, and try to replicate their results. Do everything in your power to become obsessed. And of course, share your obsession with others to keep the momentum going.

 

Practical advice, finally! User u/waking_dreams96, you mentioned that in the past, you’ve enjoyed drawing, reading fantasy, and rock climbing. To be honest, you and me, we should be friends. All of these sound like fun. One thing you can do, is try to fall in love all over again with a previous interest. The trick is to find a new aspect that you haven’t done before. If you’ve been drawing faces, try drawing a still life. If you’ve been reading high fantasy like The Wheel of Time, perhaps a change of pace is in order. Something like a Neil Gaiman book – American Gods, perhaps. Another thing you can do to find new interest in an old activity is to combine it with another interest. Here’s one idea that comes to mind: Put your drawing supplies into a backpack along with some trail mix and water. Do some research and find a hike near you that will get you a beautiful view at the top. Hike to the top, and sit down to draw. While up there, draw your favorite fantasy character battling their greatest foe, using the majestic vista you’ve earned as the backdrop. I’m just spitballing here, so you’ll need to be the judge for a new and novel activity to do.

 

What else can I offer in terms of choosing a hobby that can keep you engrossed for a long time? Try to focus on something that gets you away from what you usually do. For example if you work in IT, or you’re a programmer, a hobby that is less than screen-centric is a good start. The reason is that our brains crave new and novel experiences, so instead of doing more of the same, try something completely different. Here’s another example: I’m a filmmaker, and i spend a lot of my time editing in front of a computer, so any time I can get out on my bike is such a relief. Which brings us neatly to my next piece of advice.

 

Anything that gets you outdoors is going to be addicting. Something that gets you out of the city, and into nature is even better. The biggest things to look for in a happiness-centered hobby in my opinion are going to have some combination of the following: It’s going to be outdoors, it’s going to be active, it’s going to be creative, it’s going to be social, it’s going to be challenging. The more of these things you can hit, the more you’ll enjoy your time doing it.

 

I have some specific ideas for hobbies you can try, but before I go on, can I ask: if you’re enjoying this content, please subscribe, and help me promote the podcast. Word of mouth is the greatest force in growing this thing, and if we could get more listeners, I’d be able to justify the amount of time I put into it. Thanks!

 

With all of that said, here are some specific ideas for hobbies you might want to try, and why I would suggest them. Some of these are going to be no surprise to regular listeners of the podcast.

 

My first suggestion is ham radio! Sure, at the upper end of the hobby, it can get very expensive. But that’s true of most hobbies. The test required to get your ham license costs $15, which lots of clubs are offering online right now because of the coronavirus, and you can get a cheap Baofeng radio for $25 on Amazon. That’s a pretty low cost to entry as far as hobbies go. Plus it’s a technical hobby, which if you’re like me, is new uncharted territory – and I personally found that to be entirely refreshing. If you aren’t sure why you should care or why you might find it interesting, I suggest you listen to the Ham Radio episode I produced on this podcast. I’ll put the link in the show notes.

 

Next, I’m going to mention Letterlocking. When you write a letter to a friend, you know, with physical pen and paper, you want to make sure no one else can read it. How do achieve this without the use of an envelope? Letterlocking to the rescue. It’s like origami for the written word. There’s a great letterlocking youtube channel you should check out called Letterlocking Videos. Again the link will be in the show notes. The videos are also kind of great ASMR.

 

Next, some other people mentioned this as a comment to the question on reddit, but something physical like a martial art is a good idea. Because it is physical, so good for your mental health, but it’s also social, and can help you feel less isolated. Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait until after the coronavirus to try it because of the close contact you will have with others. Most gyms are closed for the time being. In the time being, you can check out some great YouTube channels on whichever martial art you choose. There seems to be a lot of love for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Start there. The only negative I can think of is the cost. My research tells me you can expect to pay about a grand per year for membership to a gym here in the states, and that may be out of your budget.

 

Geocaching is a good one for you. It again gets you outdoors, there’s low cost to entry (start free, with your smartphone), and there are some really challenging caches out there. Better yet, everywhere in the world you go, you can find a cache to do. Again, I’ll throw a quick plug in here for the geocaching episode I did a while back. Since the recording of that episode however, I’ve gotten much more into geocaching myself, and my 2 and a half year old has become obsessed with, as he says, finding “Treasure.” A little digging will show you how cool an idea geocaching is.

 

I’m going to end off with one last hobby idea. And this one has some restrictions and prerequisites. Dungeons and Dragons. If you don’t know what it is, I’ll give a quick description. It’s a tabletop roleplaying game. If you’ve ever played a roleplaying video game, imagine that the computer in this instance is actually a player, and anything you want to do doesn’t have to be pre-programmed into the game, because a person can decide the outcome of your actions on the fly. All that’s technically required to play is a set of dice which can be acquired for about $4 (although I suppose you could use a dice roller app on your phone in a pinch) and a set of the Basic Rules, which are available online as a PDF for free, and your character sheet, which is again free. You’ll quickly realize you want to buy at least the Player’s Handbook, which sells on Amazon for $33 as of the recording of this episode. Of course, you’ll also need some friends to play with, at least 2, and one person is going to have to agree to run the game. You can get more advice on the r/dnd subreddit, or on YouTube from Matthew Colville, who has an excellent video series about running the game. He makes it very approachable to actually run the game. Also watch Critical Role, which is a bunch of voice actors playing D&D together. They did a video with Vin Diesel, which is about a half hour long, and should give you a good idea of what the game is like.

So those are my ideas for you! I hope you like them. How did I do? Please please feel free to reach out and ask followup questions by emailing me directly at Dovid, that’s D-O-V-I-D dovid@clevelandcreativeoutlet.com. Thanks for your time, and thanks for the chance to answer such a good question!

 

This has been What Makes You Happy, the show that explores our hobbies and pastimes and how they delight us. To all of you at home, thanks so much for tuning in. Until next week, remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.

 

Hosted By: Dovid E.Z. Stern [Ph. (216) 526-6641, Em. dovid@clevelandcreativeoutlet.com, URL www.clevelandcreativeoutlet.com]